Clues that indicate you may be on an Air Canada flight to the maritimes

1. The security guards ask "why the long face?" when you stomp through the metal detector. They then ask if you'd like to watch television while you wait alone in the departure lounge.

2. The plane resembles a tiny icebox more than it does a plane.

3. The plane is filled with teenage army brats returning from Basic Training for the first time. They are ferociously afraid of flying and discuss the necessity of "packing a bowl at 2400 feet to ease the nerves there boys".

4. The flight attendant says "toodley-doo!" at the end of her loudspeaker message.

5. They serve Maized and Confused corn chips.